“A hunt based only on the trophies taken falls far short of what the ultimate goal should be.” –Fred Bear

This quote is dear to my heart, it is how I justify all my failures in the woods, fields, stands, and blinds.  My goal as I zip up my camo uni-tard and pack my bow or rifle is to enjoy every moment I am allowed to spend contemplating excuses for my next miss.  “Something spooked him just as I released (probably my loud as hell compound, but we’ll leave that out)” or “I should have sighted in my rifle, I hit a few hard bumps getting back here.”  How about honesty? “I suck.”  Nah, we’ll skip honesty, it had to be an equipment failure; right?  Then the unmistakable “crunching” of prey unaware… my heart skips two beats and then builds like a Rick Allen drum solo until I can feel my carotid artery pulsing out of my neck.  Closer, closer, until I know he can’t be more than a few yards away as I take aim or draw back, visions of tender loins dance in my head.  “And that’s when I blow it,” but as Tommy also said “that’s when people like us gotta forge ahead, am I right?”

Here are my “Five Hunting Basics”

I. Don’t believe your hunting buddy

I used to hunt with a good friend; he’s honest, trustworthy, and a huge liar.  We’ll call him Bick Rabb.  We used to hunt in Northern Missouri at a mutual friend’s farm.  It was pristine, over 1,000 acres that butted up to a nature preserve.  Bick would go and scout the land and the patterns during the summer months to determine our plan of attack come November.  Due to other obligations I was rarely able to accompany him on these scouting trips, but as stated above, I had no reason to question his findings.  Five years in a row I listened as he said “You set up at the west end of the field to cover the corn and the creek bed, they’ve been really active in there,” “take the ground blind, you’ll see them coming across the field from the preserve and you’ll have the wind in your favor,” or “it’s hit or miss this year, but I think you should spot up at the north tip with clear sight lines of ‘x’ corridor.”  He would end every such tip with the proclamation: “you’re going to have your choice of trophy bucks, I’ll set up over here just in case one wonders off track.”

What a crock of spit.  Every year, without fail, I would be treated to the sound of cloudless thunder, usually at the crack of dawn while the dew still lay on the ground or the frost was still crunching under foot.  While I sat, as still as Christopher Reeves in a non-motorized chair.  The minutes turning to hours and the excitement fading into incredulity; Bick screwed me again.  Do your own scouting, learn how to detect active trails, watering holes, and bedding locations.  And NEVER trust your hunting buddy.

 

II. Don’t count your tines before they tumble

This is sometimes refered to as “Buck Fever,” “Antphetamine,” or “Mount Mania.”  Whatever you call it, it is a death knell of accuracy.  Being the unaccomplished hunter I am, I have fallen prey to the cruel mistress that is seeing your prey prance away after a hurried adrenaline fueled misfire.  I have shot under a trophy buck from a tree stand not more than 15 yards away (this hurts to admit).  He glanced up from his foraging just long enough for me to re-chamber and put a .243 round in the trunk of a sapling inches above his back.  He didn’t give me a 3rd opportunity.  I made up some excuse when my buddies asked me about the two shots they heard, “I borrowed this rifle (true), and didn’t have a chance to sight it in (false).”  They laughed as I retold the story and even now years later are still amused and quick to remind me after every wayward shot.  I’ve been hunting for over 20 years, and still can’t help but see the tines.  Probably the number one reason my walls are mostly bare.

In some states it is necessary to count tines (3 on a side rules, etc), but when it comes time to squeeze the trigger; see the shot not the score.  As Mel Gibson said “aim small, miss small.”

 

III. Be prepared

I know I know… but remember, this is titled “Basics.”  Know what the weather is meant to do, but have supplies for what it could do as well.  I was out in Florida on a beautiful late fall day with a projected high of 78 and low of 60 with nothing but sun.  I wore just my coveralls with short sleeves and shorts underneath.  When the temp dropped below 45 and the rain came, I was freezing.  I brought no gloves, no rain gear, and nothing warm.  I shivered and squirmed for nearly two hours before I had to abandon the hunt.  I retreated like a scrotum into the warm embrace of my vehicle.  I didn’t even bring extra clothes in my truck.  I drove home damp and defeated.  Good thing my wife was there to ask “How did it go?”  You know that tinge of guilt you feel when you get annoyed at your wife for being kind and supportive?

Know your area’s climate and pack to accommodate the best case and worst case scenarios.  Having extra clothes you don’t need is better than having a need you can’t clothe.

 

IV. Enjoy yourself

Hunting is meant to be fun, don’t turn it into a drudge.  Even with all my failures and future cautionary tales; I’ve never not enjoyed myself hunting.  I understand there are times when nothing goes right, or even worse, when everything goes wrong.  However, in the end, I have a chance to enjoy nature, see wildlife, fire a gun/shoot a bow, land a prize, hang with a friend(s), and feed my family.  It’s like the bumper sticker; “a bad day fishing is better than a great day at work,” it also applies to hunting.

I know they say the key is to sit.  But, if you reach a point of exhaustion, frustration, or dissatisfaction; stop.  Get down from the stand or out of the blind.  Recharge at base camp and go back out for the evening hunt.  If, need be, wait till tomorrow; there’s always tomorrow.  “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.  You’re always a day away!”

 

V. Don’t listen to me

I literally may be the worst hunter ever.  My brother comes to mind as a potential rival, he did once shoot blind over his shoulder cause he “heard something.” But, aside from being a complete jackass, my brother has had successes.  My “success” is not failing.  During my last hunt with Parry Lrice (not actual name), we were stalking a pack of wild hogs.  As we turned the corner to an open patch of field there he was, a gorgeous large boar basking in the late morning sun.  I dropped to one knee, took aim and fired!  Heart pumping, palms sweating, I hit him, but it wasn’t clean.  Off he scurried dragging his ass like a dog on carpet.  We tracked blood for 3 hours and never found my prize.  How gut wrenching it is; not because I missed out on food or a sweet mount.  No, there is an animal (mortally?) wounded in the woods because I didn’t take the time to see my shot and squeeze the trigger.

When this happens, and it will; don’t get discouraged, get better.  If you need to put more lead through your barrel, do it; if you need to release more arrows, fire away.  If aim isn’t your problem, but adrenaline is; try breathing techniques.  The goal shouldn’t be to be as good as “x” it should be, be the best possible “u.”

 

–Fredo